I Don’t Care Who He Slept With; Why Does Anyone?

Apparently John Edwards, who holds no public office, slept with someone other than his wife a few years ago. Like any other rational person, he apparently lied about it to the press earlier this year.

I’m trying to think of something I care less about than this. Brittney Spears’ mental health? The price of yak butter in Outer Mongolia?

It’s bad enough that the National Enquirer actually pursued this pointless story. But that’s their disgusting, soul-destroying job: getting people excited about pointless crap.

But ABC News spent months investigating the rumor. ABC News, which claims it doesn’t have enough money to cover the actual news anymore.

We’re told that the extramarital affair of a would-be presidential candidate is news because it reflects on his “character.”

Nonsense.

George Bush has given America the ultimate lesson on “morality” and “character.” Here’s a born-again, church-going, non-drinking guy who believes in no-sex-until-marriage for everyone (except himself), and what did this outstandingly “moral” man do?

He knowingly lied to a nation, led us to war, authorized torture, and destroyed the Justice Department. If this is what a God-fearing, monogamous President does, how can anyone believe that someone having and lying about an affair predicts the “morality” of their governance?

America’s mass media have already sunk as low as they can, as have its consumers. “Everyone” knows that “everyone” loves a good sex scandal. Well, this one isn’t even a scandal—it’s just a simple story about people doing what people do. It’s the equivalent of someone stopped on the freeway shoulder fixing a flat tire—and everyone slowing down to look, ruining traffic for hours. “Look Mabel, a tow-truck!” “Look Al, a po-leece car!”

Americans’ lives are filled with more stimulation than any other people in history, from ipods to blackberrys to DVD players to GPS navigators. There are almost no public spaces in America that aren’t soiled with the sounds of muzak or a TV (seasoned with people yelling on cell phones). With all this stimulation, why do we still crave the details of others’ sex lives?

It’s additionally pathetic that the media and public alike dress up this lurid voyeurism as civic involvement: from “it tells us something about the candidate” to “the public has a right to know.” What self-delusion.

That’s America—no more noble than the people we look down upon, and completely unable to admit it.

As far as I’m concerned, John Edwards—Senator, Presidential candidate, or private citizen—can screw whomever he wants. I’m way more concerned about the screwing we’re all getting from George Bush and his destruction of our fundamental rights. Three months from today, we’ll have forgotten the first and still be suffering with the second.


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