Ending the Scourge of Strip Clubs

Sarasota County, Florida is the latest community to realize that destroying the U.S. Constitution is a small price to pay for protection from the scourge of strip clubs.

The County—inundated with exactly one club—has decided that adults watching other adults take off their clothes is bad for people. Not just bad for the strippers (who are otherwise considered Trash); not just bad for those watching them (otherwise known as Perverts); but for every one of the 379,000 residents (better known as Good People Who Deserve Protection).

The County is attempting to pass an ordinance that restricts what dancers can do, when they can do it, where they can do it, and how much they must wear while doing it—restrictions so radical that they will eliminate strip clubs.

A country bumpkin might ask the County, “um, what’s the problem yer fixin’?” A city slicker might ask, “um, aren’t Americans allowed to do what they want in private?” This shows just how much the exotic dance industry and their fancy lawyers have confused people.

The County doesn’t need to show that there’s a problem—the new ordinance says in black and white, “The Board of Commissioners finds that sexually oriented businesses are associated with a wide variety of adverse secondary effects,” such as “lewdness, litter, and the potential spread of disease,” along with various crimes. It’s a good thing the Board can declare that there’s a problem, because the police can’t document a problem.

Since some local people don’t want their neighbors looking at naked ladies they’re not married to, the County has decided that those neighbors have no rights to their private shows, and that nobody has the right to make a living taking off their clothes for strangers.

And that’s that.

Some people are smart enough to want constitutional rights that their neighbors approve of. Rights to stuff like going to college football games (where girls get assaulted) or bars (at which people get drunk and then drive home). The police do have data on how dangerous those activities are, you know.

Well, those people just better hope that the County doesn’t decide that their entertainment is bad for other people. In which case the Constitution won’t apply to them anymore, either.

That’s what you call law and order.


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