Some women get tattoos or nipple rings, or bleach their anuses or shave their pubic hair, for the wrong reasons—say, pressure from a boyfriend, or a belief that their bodies are ugly or non-feminine.
Some reasons aren’t wrong, just inane—“I dunno, we were all drunk and Mary did it, so I figured what the hell.”
But plenty of women do this stuff because they want to—it feels good, or they think it looks good, it makes them feel sexy, it’s a form of rebellion, their sex partner likes it, it makes wearing a thong easier, whatever.
Unfortunately, a rising chorus of so-called feminists and gender theorists are dissing women who make the “wrong” choices about these things. Claiming they know women better than they know themselves, they decry women who shave, wax, implant, bleach, pierce, or otherwise change their sexual bodies.
These body-modification fascists say all those activities are a response to “cultural pressure” (especially from selfish, obsessed, insecure boyfriends and husbands), and that no adult woman could possibly decide to do these things on her own. They say that any woman who pierces her labia or gets breast implants has been “manipulated.” Oh, you know women—unable to think for themselves. Unable to think, period.
Well, I’m tired of it.
I’m tired of the idea that there’s only one way of being sexually liberated, only one way of accepting your body and your sexuality. I don’t care what that way supposedly is—the problem is the concept that there’s only one way.
Of course, nowadays we have a second villain besides selfish, women-hating men: we have selfish, women-hating porn. Yes, everything that women want to do sexually that neo-feminists mistrust—anal sex, clitoral hood piercings, threesomes (with two women or two men!)—it’s all supposedly because of “pressure” from porn. In an impressive bank shot, even women who don’t watch porn are supposedly controlled by it because their male partners watch it and persuade them to hate their bodies. And if their male partner doesn’t watch it, well his buddies do, and their desire for balloon-breasts or garter belts is somehow contagious, ultimately “pressuring” the woman.
The final stupidity is the idea that women who shave their bushes do so in order to look like young girls—which all those bad men want, because deep down they desire sex with little girls, or want to take away adult women’s power. Would we put up with Europeans thinking the same nonsense about American women shaving their legs or underarms?
Only someone who thinks women have nothing between their legs would think a shaved adult woman looks like a little girl. She may look like a million bucks or a plucked chicken—it’s all in how she sees it. She may prefer the way her panties and jeans fit or look, she may like the way oral sex is easier, she may be stating “I’m a rebel” or “I’m comfortable with my sexuality.” She may like that her partner (male or female) likes the way it feels or looks. She may simply think it’s fun, or she may just like being in style—the way many women choose their cellphone or hemline.
Or she may know, as a friend recently told me, that “the ice age is over,” and decide that a bunch of fur around her vulva is just not necessary.
I’m willing to believe that for some women, shaving, waxing, bleaching, implanting, and piercing themselves would be shameful or self-destructive. But these women—whether they are Mormons, Ann Coulter clones, or respected academic feminists—have no idea what their sisters are thinking or feeling when they make the same choices. Assuming that women can’t express lust or embrace their own sexual bodies is bad for everyone, male or female. Whether the assumption comes from the Right or the Left is irrelevant.
For centuries, American men said women couldn’t think clearly. While not entirely gone, this idea is much less accepted today than ever before. We don’t need self-righteous women picking up this archaic idea, criticizing other women because their sexual choices discomfort the critics. When neo-feminists and “women’s advocates” find themselves aligned with anti-sex, anti-women “decency” groups, you know they’ve made a dreadful mistake.
Technorati: sexual freedom, sexual repression, censorship, sexual intelligence, sexual censorship, sexual politics, war on sex, America’s war on sex, sexual rights, sex education, pornography