As Our Orange Tree Sighs After Sex Again

April 15 is a day of pain for most Americans, but at my house, it’s a day of looking out the window and seeing sex.

Although our orange trees create fruit all year round, mid-April is when the oranges get sweet enough to make juice every morning. And mid-April is when our plum and apricot trees show their tiny little green fruits, making their annual journey to summertime lushness. And mid-April is when our bright red tulips come out of the ground and preen, shaming the simpler yellow daffodils that have already come and gone. Mid-April is when the freesia start coming up, bathing our yard with the finest perfume on earth. And mid-April is when we plant our $2 tomato plants, wondering why we bother, knowing that in 85 days we’ll taste exactly why we bother.

It’s all about sex. Fruits, vegetables, flowers—it’s all about sexual reproduction. We don’t have any pets, but I hear the whole kitten and puppy thing is about sex, too.

Sex—it doesn’t just make the human world go ’round, it makes the world go ’round, period. It’s something to celebrate every year at tax time. If you don’t have trees of your own, just go out and smell a few where you work or shop. That’s right, put your nose in someone else’s sex. It’s really OK.

It’s fine to celebrate sex the rest of the year, too. That’s why people who fear or hate sex sound so frantic: they have a big, 365-day-a-year job on their hands.

We don’t have to “have” sex to celebrate it. Just marvel at the many, many ways nature makes love with itself all over the place. It’s enough to get a person excited.


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