The platforms of both major parties are out. When it comes to sex, one is bad, the other worse. So listen up, Dems and GOPers, here’s the sexual health plank you desperately need. Presidential aspirants, steal this material at will, and promise the following:
* Sex education: All sex education must be scientifically and medically accurate. Children shall be instructed with the proper names for genitalia on the first day of their first class. Non-public schools and those subjected to the 18th-century practice of home-schooling shall be subject to the same requirements as public schools.
* Municipalities wishing to regulate or limit sexual expression (swing clubs, adult bookstores, etc.) shall be required to demonstrate peer-reviewed scientific proof that they pose a danger to the average person.
* Abortion: You don’t want one, don’t have one. No one who wants an abortion will be faced with waiting periods, unwanted medical procedures, lectures from doctors, or any other insulting, dangerous, and cynical activities not-so-covertly designed to discourage abortion.
* Other reproductive choices: Contraception has increased the health and well-being of tens of millions of American individuals, families, and children. There shall be no barriers to advertising, selling, or purchasing these supplies. Licensed pharmacists will be required to sell and provide accurate information about these products, the same as they are required to handle all other products.
* Adult pornography: You don’t like it, don’t watch it. All erotic material made by adults and featuring adults shall be decriminalized. Film productions will have the option, not the obligation, to include condoms and other protective gear. The onerous, unconstitutional 2257 regulations that are driving porn production overseas (free of any American regulation) will be eliminated.
* States will stop taxing strip clubs and nude dance clubs differently than opera, ballet, and showings of Adam Sandler films. Government is not supposed to favor some entertainment content over others; the marketplace does that.
* No one convicted solely of a non-contact sexual offense (exhibitionism, “sexting,” etc.) shall be designated a sex offender. No minor shall be designated a sex offender if he or she has not been convicted of coercive sexual violence.
* Government shall stop trolling adult chatrooms for entrapment opportunities. Talking online about sex with another adult will be legal, even if one or both are pretending to be someone (age, gender, etc.) they aren’t.
* Same-sex marriage: You don’t believe in gay marriage, don’t marry a gay person. As long as government gives legal privileges to married people that it denies to single people, all couples wishing to marry can marry.
Of course, there are many other sexual health issues that need to be addressed—regarding STDs, prostitution, sex research, etc.. Let’s start with the above, and then we can talk about the rest. Oh, the name of this program? Sexual Intelligence.